Two days...three families

I'm posting from the city of Ninh Binh, where we have been since yesterday afternoon. We had a long (the group covered 60 k) and especially hot day and Salem and I were really dragging at times. Several stops to prevent getting sick. The road narrowed again and at times felt as if walking sideways was the only option. There are huge trucks on Highway 1, all day, every day. No relief from that. Sometimes it's strange to me to think this is the "super highway" of Vietnam because it is certainly rough. The people were very solemn in these villages. I wouldn't call them friendly but not unfriendly either. Just quiet, even the kids. I spent the day walking with  Bob, Phuc and Salem and Bao joined us later. The last few kilometers were unbelievably beautiful...mountains and rivers, kids playing in the water, water buffalo of course, that brilliant green of Vietnam that is like something out of Willy Wonka. We arrived in this city tired and grateful for a shower, food and got lucky with a really clean room. I have learned to be grateful for things like showers, food (even bad food), legs that will carry me through my life. And on and on. I know that just 2 pairs of shorts, socks and one t-shirt can carry you through a month. Hand soap can clean your clothes. Even a warm bottle of water comes in handy. I just realize that we do complicate our lives with too much "stuff". I have been shedding "stuff" since my arrival and the lighter my bag gets, the better I feel.

TODAY IS MAY 25: I woke up early, couldn't sleep any more so went downstairs to the kitchen to beg for some coffee. Great coffee, very hot water= a good morning. At 8:00, the head of the local VAVA (Vietnam Association for Agent Orange-Dioxin) and several members of his staff came to get us and we all went in cabs to a government building, which we did not expect to do. They had many officials from the city and many reporters there waiting in one of the rooms. It was very beautiful and behind the speaker who welcomed us was a gigantic bust of Ho Chi Minh and flowers everywhere. He welcomed us and thanked us and gave us information on local AO victims. Afterwards, Doc addressed them, with Bao translating and he gave a very moving description of what we hope to do for these children. It was so nice to look around the room, people united in their concern for the suffering of these children-no hatred, resentment or distrust. It was just really cool. Many eyes filling up with tears.

They took us to see 3 families (of 300,000 in this Province) with children affected by AO. The first family was about a 10 minute drive from our meeting. The daughter, named De, is 28 years old but looks to be much younger, as most AO victims do. She was totally silent and sort of leaned against the back of her bed the entire time we visited. The father fought in the Delta area and showed us where he had been shot: the head, the leg and arm. His first 2 children died at birth and the next two died at ages 3 and 4. De, along with her brother Dat (also AO) are the last two children. When the father spoke, he cried and you could feel the reaction of everyone in the room-heartbroken as always...even the photographers and reporters. I handed him my bandana and he cried and cried into it, wiped his face and said "cam on" (thank you) and tried to give it back. I told him to keep it, that it was ok and I watched as he gave it to his daughter and declared it "a gift " from the visitor. We gave them a donation and VAVA did as well, which was wonderful and then we shook his hand and left. It's always so hard to walk away from these meetings. I try so hard to not cry but I can never seem to. I remember thinking, as I got in the taxi, that as long as I draw breath, I will never forget the father's face.

The next family was not too far from the first. The father was waiting for us when we walked down the little path that led to their house. He took us all inside, to the bedside of his son Hung, who is 26 years old. A human being, capable of nothing but breathing. A riddled body. Feet turned backwards. only one hand that resembled a human being. In his hand a stick with plastic tied to the end because the parents want to teach him how to swat away the flies. The father was sprayed with AO while working on the HCM trail and this is what he brought home to his wife and future son. It is odd sometimes, what you think about as you stand by these children. Looking at Hung, I wondered what the prayers of hi parents must be like.

The last family we visited was a father to 5 sons. One of the boys died from AO and we visited with 3. The other brother is scared of people and ran away when we got there. I assume this happens regularly because the father did not seem alarmed or go look for him. Two of the three brothers we saw are twins, named Linh and Sang. The other two are Trinh and Gia. The father was exposed to AO in the Delta. While these boys could sit up and move around, they seemed to just mostly have a blank stare. The father was very worried about what will happen when he and the mother pass away. They are saving money so they will be able to put their sons into a facility when the time comes. Hopefully what we donated to them will help.

It is difficult to visit these families, as I have said so many times. But I try to imagine what their life is like, and I just cannot. There is no "making it whole" for these children. There are 3 million of them in Vietnam. We can't blame nature. There was no tragic accident. This was done by people.

Maybe one day there will be an answer to the question "when will it be over?"